Fears
by Evia Wingjade
Summary: How does Lucy cope with the nightmares she faces after living in Narnia? Lucy and Peter sibling bonding. No romance, some graphic battle memories. Please let me know what you think!


_Fears_

Sometimes Lucy woke up crying. It was a rare thing, when she was very young, but when one has grown and lived, even when one has become a child again, it gives a much wider base for nightmares. The first time Lucy woke from a nightmare after living in Narnia, she was still sharing a room with Susan in Professor Kirk's manor. To drive away her nightmare terror, Lucy had climbed into Susan's bed. There, she went straight back to sleep. At eight years old, she was possibly a little old for such things as far as most people would have been concerned, but Susan understood. Though she found the comfort she needed with her sister, Lucy told Peter that she'd had a nightmare because she knew he would want to know. When Lucy was ten years old, she still woke with nightmares, and sometimes still in tears. But she could no longer go to Susan's room for comfort.

The first time after her second trip to Narnia she had crept into Susan's room, tear-tracks still wet on her cheeks, Susan had sent her back to bed. She was too old, her sister said, and it was high time she learned how to deal with nightmares like a big girl.

She had gone back to her bed, but she found she could not sleep. Lucy was unsure what to do; there had been several times she had merely rolled over after a bad dream and gone back to sleep, but after one like that…

_Lucy watched in horror as Peter was attacked and fell to the ground. Edmund came into her view, yelling a battle cry, running to defend their brother. Lucy began to run as well, desperate to get to Peter, searching her belt for the Fireflower Cordial that would heal his wound. The lid twisted off; Ed slayed the creature trying to get passed him to his wounded brother and younger, weaker sister. Lucy wasn't even sure what it was, only that it shrieked as it died. She carefully tilted the vile over Peter's mouth, and found it empty. She gasped her dismay, but began ripping her skirt to make a bandage for Peter's bleeding stomach. A grunt behind her; Edmund had been felled by another of those creatures. Lucy reached for her dagger, praying to Aslan that she and her dear brothers make it through the battle alive. The creature slashed at her, and she dodged; tripping over Peter's discarded shield and fell, landing hard on the blood-stained ground. She knew her brothers were doomed—their blood was seeping through the back of her dress, and she herself was about to be killed. The creature she had tried to fight swung his blade up, eyes fixed on her throat._

She sobbed as quietly as she could. Susan's room was the closest, and she didn't want wake her; to anger or disappoint her any more. But she could not stay in her bed. She had to see her brothers, to know they were alright. That they were not bleeding out on a Narnian battle-field. She wrapped herself in her robe again, and slid silently out her door. The closest of the boys' rooms was Edmund's. Lucy opened the door a crack and paused; she did not want to wake him. She knew her brothers had seen more, and more gruesome things than she had, but as far as she knew, they did not leave their beds wailing. Lucy felt small and weak and childish. If she had been thinking clearly, she would have remembered that her brothers made allowances for her age, and sentimentality, and encouraged her to embrace her youthful heart. When Edmund did not stir, she crept into his room. She stopped a few feet from his bedside, to watch as his chest rose and fell with his breath. There was no dark stain on his blankets; no puddle of blood on the floor near his bed. She breathed easier, relieved for some evidence, and exited the room as silently as she had entered. Lucy was, if possible, even more careful as she crept to Peter's door—for she had to pass Susan's room to get there. The memory of her sister sending her away stung sharply. She told herself that Susan was trying to help her grow up, but she couldn't quite believe it while she was still scared. Peter's door creaked once as she opened it, and she hesitated. When he showed no sign of waking, she slunk into the room. As she had in Ed's room, she stopped herself approaching the bed too close; both her brothers were unlikely to react well to a figure nearing them in the dead of night. She watched silently as his chest rose and fell; she wished she could wake him and tell him of her nightmare, but she was nervous. What if Peter called her childish too? What if he sent her away? _Peter has never sent you away,_ a small part of her mind noted, but still she hesitated. When she began backing away, though, she saw Peter's eyes flutter.

"Lu, what is it?"

"I'm sorry Peter, I didn't mean to wake you," she apologized.

"It's alright Lu. What's wrong?" He asked gently, sitting up.

"It's…it's nothing. I'll just let you go back to sleep."

"Lucy," Peter replied firmly, holding out his hand, "come here." Lucy thought for a moment of refusing—what if he laughed at her? Susan's reaction to her fear had shaken her self-confidence. But that was Peter's King voice. Lucy had spent 15 years as a queen in Narnia, and Peter had been High King. She always obeyed her eldest brother when he used that voice; for that very reason, he only used it when he truly _needed_ her to obey without argument. So when he called, she went to the edge of his bed and placed her hand in his. "Thank you, Lu," he said quietly, voice gentling "Now won't you tell me what's wrong? I've never found you here in the middle of the night before."

"I…I had a nightmare." She responded, voice small. Peter nodded, his expression solemn.

"Do you want to sit up here and tell me?" He asked and when Lucy nodded her assent, he lifted her into his lap. Lucy looked into her brother's eyes and told him her bloody nightmare, and her eyes filled with tears again as she remembered. When she stopped talking and began to cry in earnest, Peter wrapped his arms around her and held her, whispering soothing nonsense; assuring her that he was well and truly alive.

"You…you don't think I'm being childish?" She asked, hesitantly when she had calmed.

"Not at all, Lu, why would I?" He responded, surprised.

"I…Susan said I was too old to be so frightened of nightmares," she replied quietly.

"Lu," Peter said quietly, pitching his voice low and soothing, "Susan did not see as much blood and battle-field as you when we were in Narnia, and what she did see, she seems to have forgotten. I have nightmares. So does Ed."

"But you don't go looking for someone to crawl into bed with before you can sleep." Lucy said, sniffling.

"Rubbish." Peter said firmly, and Lucy looked up at him in surprise. "I don't care to count the number of times I've sat in your room for hours, Lu, watching you sleep, trying to make myself believe that the dreams were just dreams and you were still alive. I know Edmund's done the same. And he's come in here too, and sat next to me and told me his nightmares, just like you're doing." Peter pondered a moment, then; "I've actually been surprised that you didn't have more nightmares."

Lucy shook her head. "Up till tonight, I've just gone to Susan's room. She's never sent me away before." Peter nodded his understanding and Lucy rested her head against his shoulder. A few silent minutes passed, and she sighed. "I suppose I should go back to bed," she said quietly.

"Why?" Peter asked, and Lucy looked up at him. He was serious.

"I don't suppose Mum would like finding me sleeping in your bed," she replied, surprised he would have to ask. "She thought my sleeping with Su was odd enough, but…"

"Lu, do you think I'd let you get into trouble?" He responded with a smile. Lucy smiled back, snuggling against his chest.

"Thank you Peter," she murmured sleepily. "I was afraid to try to sleep."

Peter adjusted his arms so he cradled her. "I'll put you back in your bed in a little while, okay?" Lucy just nodded, already near sleep, content in the knowledge that her big brother would take care of her.


End file.
